Breakfast popsicles!

I'm a genius! I've started making smoothies for breakfast every once in awhile, but I never measure anything so I always have leftovers. Thus, breakfast popsicles were born. I pour leftover smoothie batter (? would that be a batter? i don't fucking know) into my popsicle molds. Unsurprisingly, my 3 year old LOVES these. "Mama! Can I have a popsicle for breakfast?" "Of course, dear!" 


I always use frozen, over ripe bananas as the base for smoothies because I hate ice in them. The bananas make them almost like a milkshake in consistency. Then, I throw in whatever else I have laying around like protein powder, steel cut oats, other frozen fruits, greek yogurt, nut butters, etc, etc. Very easy, no recipe required!

I love the molds I linked above, by the way. They don't make huge popsicles, and they're so easy to unmold. I also love that they're individual, so once my popsicles are frozen, I can take them out of the stand and put them in the freezer laying down to save space. 

The "Shit I have 3 pears and 1 peach that are about to go bad" jam.

Peach Pear Jam (more pear than peach)

• 3 large pears
• 1 large peach
• 1/2 cup fruit juice or water
• 3 1/2 tbsp BOTTLED lemon juice
• 1 3/4 tbsp Ball low sugar pectin
• 1/3 cup sugar, or sweetener of choice

1. Peel, core, and chop fruit into large chunks. Combine with lemon juice and water/fruit juice in a medium sized pot. If your fruit is soft enough, mash with a potato masher or blend to chunky with an immersion blender now. If it's still hard, cook for a bit until the fruit can be mashed or pulverized. Gradually stir in pectin, no clumping!
   
   
2. While constantly stirring, bring fruit to a rolling boil that cannot be stirred down.
   
   
3.  Add sweetener now if desired. Bring back to a boil and boil hard for 1 minute.
   
   
4. Pack into hot, sterilized jars, process for 10 min. Let sit for 12-24 hours before moving the jars. Put any jars that didn't seal in the fridge and eat within a week. Makes three 8 oz jars of jam.

Blood Orange

This is the final citrus fruit, I promise. 

MATERIALS

• G hook
• Worsted weight yarn in bright orange, crimson, and cream.
• Embroidery needle
• Fiber fill
• If desired, magnets that are strong enough to hold through yarn.

RIND (make 2)

R1: With orange yarn, 6 SC in magic loop.

R2: Inc every ST (12 sts)

R3: *SC 1, 2 SC in next st* rep 6 times (18 sts)

R4: *SC 2, 2 SC in next st* rep 6 times (24 sts)

R5: *SC 3, 2 SC in next st* rep 6 times (30 sts)

R7: *SC 4, 2 SC in next st* rep 6 times (36 sts)

R8-R11: SC around (36 sts)

Bind off, leaving a long tail for sewing.

FLESH OF FRUIT (make 2)

R1: With cream  yarn, 6 SC in magic loop, sl st to close.

Switch to crimson yarn.

R2: CH 1, 2 SC in each st around, sl st to close (12 sts)

R3: CH 1,  *SC 1, 2 SC in next st* rep 6 times, sl st to close (18 sts)

R4: CH 1,  *SC 2, 2 SC in next st* rep 6 times, sl st to close (24 sts)

R5: CH 1,  *SC 3, 2 SC in next st* rep 6 times, sl st to close (30 sts)

R6: Switch to cream yarn. CH 1,  *SC 4,  2 SC in next st* rep 6 times, sl st to close (36 sts) Bind off.

Embroider fruit segments with cream yarn, and attach magnets to underside if desired. Sew to rind, stuffing when almost sewed shut, then finish up. Weave in ends. 

Pink grapefruit!

Yet another citrus fruit, and my favorite, pink grapefruit! I did not magnetize these because I ran out of magnets, but obviously just sew some in if you want magnetic grapefruit. 

MATERIALS

• G hook
• Worsted weight yarn in hot pink, pastel yellow, and cream.
• Embroidery needle
• Fiber fill
• If desired, magnets that are strong enough to hold through yarn.

RIND (make 2)


R1: With pastel yellow yarn, 6 SC in magic loop.


R2: Inc every ST (12 sts)


R3: *SC 1, 2 SC in next st* rep 6 times (18 sts)


R4: *SC 2, 2 SC in next st* rep 6 times (24 sts)


R5: *SC 3, 2 SC in next st* rep 6 times (30 sts)


R7: *SC 4, 2 SC in next st* rep 6 times (36 sts)


R8: *SC 5, 2 SC in next st* rep 6 times (42 sts)


R9-R12: SC around (42 sts)


R13: *SC 13, 2 SC in next st* rep 2 times (45 sts)


Bind off, leaving a long tail for sewing.


FLESH OF FRUIT (make 2)



R1: With cream  yarn, 6 SC in magic loop, sl st to close.


Switch to hot pink yarn.


R2: CH 1, 2 SC in each st around, sl st to close (12 sts)


R3: CH 1,  *SC 1, 2 SC in next st* rep 6 times, sl st to close (18 sts)


R4: CH 1,  *SC 2, 2 SC in next st* rep 6 times, sl st to close (24 sts)


R5: CH 1,  *SC 3, 2 SC in next st* rep 6 times, sl st to close (30 sts)


R6: CH 1,  *SC 4, 2 SC in next st* rep 6 times, sl st to close (36 sts)


R7: CH 1,  *SC 5, 2 SC in next st* rep 6 times, sl st to close (42 sts)


R8: Switch to cream yarn. CH 1,  *SC 6,  2 SC in next st* rep 6 times, sl st to close (48 sts) Bind off.


Embroider fruit segments with cream yarn, and attach magnets to underside if desired. Sew to rind, stuffing when almost sewed shut, then finish up. Weave in ends. 

OH MY GOD

I have to share my excitement and joy! I made bread, and it didn't totally suck. It sucks a little because I made it collapse so it's not risen correctly and it's too salty, BUT

my bread is soft. It's not a gross hockey puck wheat cake. It's soft and fluffy and still like 95% whole wheat. Take that and fuck you Healthy Bread in Five Minutes a Day.

I used the recipe found here: http://littlebluehen.com/?p=950

Magnetic lemon

I finished this eons ago, but I'm a terrible blogger. LIFE. IT HAPPENS. 

Just a warning, I did not write this pattern down as I was making it, but it's nearly identical to the lime, just a bit bigger, so I adjusted accordingly. If it comes out wonky, let me know!

MATERIALS

G hook

Worsted weight yarn in school bus yellow, lemon green, and cream.

Embroidery needle

Fiber fill

If desired, magnets that are strong enough to hold through yarn.

One half of rind:

R1: With school bus yellow yarn, 4 Sc in magic loop.

R2: Inc every other st (6 sts)

R3: SC around (6 sts)

R4: Inc every st (12 sts)

R5: *SC 1, 2 SC in next st* rep 4 times (18 sts)

R6: *SC 2, 2 SC in next st* rep 4 times (24 sts)

R7: *SC 3, 2 SC in next st* rep 4 times (30 sts)

R8: *SC 4, 2 SC in next st* rep 4 times (36 sts)

R9: *SC 5, 2 SC in next st* rep 5 times (42 sts)

R10-R13: SC around (42 sts) Bind off

Second half of rind:

R1: With school bus yellow yarn, 4 Sc in magic loop.

R2: Inc every other st (6 sts)

R3: Inc every st (12 sts)

R4: *SC 1, 2 SC in next st* rep 4 times (18 sts)

R5:* SC 2, 2 SC in next st* rep 4 times (24 sts)

R6: *SC 3, 2 SC in next st* rep 4 times (30 sts)

R7: *SC 4, 2 SC in next st* rep 4 times (36 sts)

R8: *SC 5, 2 SC in next st* rep 5 times (42 sts)

R9-R13: SC around (30 sts)

Bind off

Flesh of fruit (make 2):

R1: With cream  yarn, 4SC in magic loop, sl st to close.

Switch to lemon yellow yarn.

R2: CH 1, 2 SC in each st around, sl st to close (8 sts)

R3: CH 1,  *SC 1, 2 SC in next st* rep 4 times, sl st to close (12 sts)

R4: CH 1,  *SC 2, 2 SC in next st* rep 4 times, sl st to close (16 sts)

*R5: CH 1,  *SC 3, 2 SC in next st* rep 4 times, sl st to close (20 sts)

R6: CH 1,  *SC 4, 2 SC in next st* rep 4 times, sl st to close (24 sts)

*This is where it gets a little fuzzy for me. You might have to eyeball what's going to fit. If you make the flesh and it's too small, then just keep increasing until it's the right size. If it's too big, rip out a round! It's easy to fix no matter what.

Switch back to cream yarn

R7: CH 1,  *SC 5, 2 SC in next st* rep 4 times, sl st to close (28 sts)

Bind off, embroider sections of fruit with cream yarn. Attach magnets to underside if

desired by sewing in tightly. Attach to rind and sew 3/4 of the way around, stuff, then finish sewing shut. Weave in ends.

Can I just say that blogger's formatting totally blows? My entries look fine in edit mode, but they go wonky when I publish. 

Pear Jam with Honey & Vanilla

Aldi had these 2lb bags of pears for $1 each, so I bought FOUR bags because I'm crazy. Also, you can make fun of me for shopping at Aldi, but then you can also kiss my ass for being a giant jerk face.  That said, I'm obsessed with canning, which is pretty funny because I think it's the new hipster, "homesteading", band wagon home craft. I'm an insufferable hipster wannabe, so of course, I love canning, and I'm tired of buying jams and jellies that are either cheap and filled with a zillion ingredients, or cost $4 for one tiny 8 oz jar because it's so ~pure and natural~. My little girl and I eat a lot of jam, I want to know what my little girl is eating. I also love jam because it's the whole fruit, minus the skins usually, so you're still getting all the good stuff from the fruit like fiber and nutrients!


My husband ate an entire bag of pears and left me with 3 lbs, so I made jam with what was left.


3 lbs of pears
1/2 cup water
1 cup honey
1/2 cup lemon juice
1/4 cup + 3 tbsp Ball Low Sugar Pectin
1 tbsp pure vanilla extract, or a couple vanilla beans scraped.


Peel, core, and chop up ripe pears. I just quartered mine because I'm lazy and have an immersion blender. Combine pears and water in a large pot and cook until soft, then mash or use an immersion blender to get a chunky puree. (At this point, I ladled all of my fruit out into a huge measuring cup so that I could get exact amounts needed for pectin and lemon juice. I ended up with just barely 9 cups of pear puree, and with lemon juice added, that would be 9 cups of liquid even, which is how I ended up with my pectin amount. I just followed the directions on the label of the pectin jar.) Add lemon juice, and gently stir in pectin, a little bit at at time and stirring constantly. You want to avoid any lumps. Bring to a rapid boil on high heat that cannot be stirred down, then add honey and vanilla. Bring back to a rapid boil, let boil for about 1 min, then remove from heat. Pack into sterile, hot jars, seal, and process in a boiling water bath for 10 minutes. Let jars sit for 12-24 hours after processing, I lay a towel out on my counter and leave them there overnight.


This recipe is heavily based on the directions on the Ball Low Sugar pectin label, so it should be safe afaik. The only changes I made were adding vanilla.