I am very mature.

Here is a penis knitting chart. You would knit the white and purl the black to make a raised, giant penis pattern. I am going to make a penis washcloth at some point.

Full size image here.

Green Beans

Size E hook

Worsted weight yarn

SC 4 stitches into a magic loop

Row 1: Inc in first stitch, sc in remaining stitches. (5 st)

Continue to single crochet in the round until desired length is reached, about 3.5" 


Decrease once in last round, then bind off and weave in ends.

Make 3 or 4, sew together in a bundle.

BUTTS

I don't know how to make pdfs, so this is where I'm going to dump any crochet or knit patterns I accidentally make.